Thursday, October 16, 2014

31 Days of Halloween | Day 16 and a bit of a personal story

During the month of October I am participating in a month-long blog hop with some amazing artists. Everyday you will find a new Halloween project on all of the blogs listed below. Each project must have stamping on it, be it digi or ink. There are prizes to win, be sure to check out all the rules HERE and information on the daily scavenger hunt is posted there! You must go HERE to find the item/s you are looking for the scavenger hunt.

If you are looking for my Delightful Challenge Post it is here.

Welcome to Day 16 of the 31 Days of Halloween hop with! Happy Thursday everyone--warning this post is an overshare and might not be suitable for everyone...that's okay, I understand. Just look at the tile and read no further. I promise, I will not share a valued technique today. This is a personal story and rather the madness behind the tile.
Today I was "scheduled" to do a tag but I changed my mind. Let me tell you why and what's behind this strange tile. I am having a biopsy today for my thyroid...let's back up. Before my daughter turned 2 (she is now 8), I was diagnosed with Thyroid disease...I had Hypothyroidism--think thyroid in hyperdrive to produce--not making enough. As a condition of this you sometimes have a swollen thyroid, sometimes you get goiters [think lumpy balls] in your thyroid. When I was first diagnosed I was diligent in taking my medicine--not. The only daily pill I had been on ever was a birth control pill and it had been a good 9 years since I had taken one of those. I did not want to take a daily pill. I was not good at remembering. After a few years of attempting to remember my medication I just finally gave up and went into a 6 year period of denial where I did not take it and I did not go to the doctor--EVER.
After a difficult year medically with my son and my husband, I had promised my health would take center focus...if only I knew then.... So I started this journey with the new year--my word was THRIVE, right? I was going to THRIVE in every aspect of my life. A checkup led to more invasive doctors visits....a diagnosis of high blood pressure--score 2 pills--a diagnosis of diabetes--score a pill and a lifestyle adjustment--a diagnosis of hypothyroidism--score that stupid little pill I didn't want to take to start with and more invasive tests.
This summer I went through a horrifying sonogram with a crazy technician that had me convinced I had thyroid cancer. She was inappropriate and we hope wrong...we will know shortly. I got sent to a specialist last month to discuss "the next step." That is what we're calling the biopsy..."the next step." Basically this is to prove without a doubt that there is no cancer but rather some benign gunk in my thyroid in little goiters that can stay in me as long as they do not become a problem with my swallowing, breathing, etc. While I have tried the denial of stress thing for the last few months, those close to me know that this is killing me inside. This is evidenced by the explosion of fever blisters across my lips today [written Wednesday].
So Wednesday night before my biopsy, as I looked at my cut tag and thought of what I wanted to add, I kept thinking how frightened I was of not knowing, how the doctor would be poking me with various skinny long needles and making slides of the goo that she pulled out...I really felt like I would look like Dr. Frankenstein's Monster as I laid there while the doctor held her sono-wand in one hand going from lump to lump and sticking needles in my neck. So as I worried and relieved some stress, I misted and stenciled and stamped and embossed and ended up with my Frankenstein's Monster Tile. There you go...the method to today's madness.  I hope you enjoy my project! Please come back tomorrow for more!

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Smeared Ink Wicked Bloggers 2014
Julia | Lisa | Teresa | Keren | Renee | Alison
Steph | Sandy | Sarah | Stefanie | Barbara

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  1. I love your tile, it's so eerie with the embossing all all those layers. Crafting is a wonderful stress reliever and I'm happy that your poured your emotions into this tile. Thrive is a wonderful word for you, keep on going forward and thriving for you and your family. Sending you positive healing thoughts. ((hugs))

  2. Wonderful tile, gorgeous texture and colors! Keep crafting and let it help work out the stress. Thrive is a strong word, keep repeating it out loud.
    Thanks for sharing~~super hugs~~

  3. I love your tile--it really has a haunting feeling to it! More importantly, making it helped you deal with all the stress you are feeling. I will be thinking of you today.

  4. Your tile is wonderful.
    If it helped you destress a little and vent some things, even better.
    My best thoughts and highest vibrational energies are with you today.
    As tough as it is, you are taking care of yourself and that is important.
    I have struggled with hypOthyroid forver and when we think we have it under control, it doesn't last long.
    The positive side of your post is that you reminded me to take my thyroid meds today!
    You are having a positive effect on the world.
    I hope I can reflect some of that positivity back towards you.

  5. My prayers are with you! Please don't feel bad about fearing or being fearful. I have been though over a year of tests to see why I have lost down to a 100 pounds from 168. Each test has held the possibility of something not nice. I still have no idea what it is. Yes it is still in my mind is it something bad but I am trying to stay positive. But is it easy in no way is it easy. But lean on your support system and let these feelings out. They will be happy you are leaning on them and you will feel some relief. I will really pray for you not being religious but positive thoughts of any kind are helpful they have been in my life. God bless you and your ability to go on with this endeavor is awesome! Thanks for sharing your story; you may have saved lives by doing so! You are an inspiration to me!

  6. I love the background sayings. Wonderful embossing

  7. A spooktacular and creepy creation and well OH HOLY CRAP is what comes to mind for what's going on with you right now! I fully understand your desire to hide and your fears right now, breast cancer survivor here so been there with all the tests and the needles and the poking and the uncertainty and the horror! You stay as positive as you possibly can and take it one step at a time, one breathe at a time! ALL is FINE vibes are coming your way right this second! Hang in there & best wishes and major hugs!

  8. Let's hope that the technician was wrong and that it is nothing. Thoughts and prayers are with you. As for this project - it is wonderful. It took me a second to recognize that their was a face on the tile. Love this. Take it easy. Hugs.

  9. This is a fabulous project, I do hope that your creativity is helping to alleviate your fears and stresses. I hope that everything goes well with the poking and prodding and sending you positive vibes and thoughts and prayers for the bit after 'the next step'. much love, mo xxx

  10. An amazing tile and story. You can see the release of stress, emotion and fear in your work. Will be thinking of you and sending the most positive energy imaginable. you will THRIVE! Stay strong. xxD

  11. Thanks for sharing...hope all goes well...thinking about you! I find crafting is a wonderful way of destressing/relaxing/forgetting...

  12. Let's hope that the technician was wrong and that it is nothing. Positive energy and prayers are with you.
    This project is wonderful. Love the face on the tile. Love this. Take it easy. Hugs.

  13. Craftying is wonderful therapy and a great way to let out some of that stress - I love how the picture is sort of faceless, so it's like a metaphor for stress. Sending lots of gentle hugs and positive thoughts your way - keep thriving! :)

  14. Although this is an amazing project for sure, Your strength and courage surpass anything you've created this month!! You are an amazing strong person and an inspiration!


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